Major Arcana VI

“If music be the food of love, play on.”Duke Orsino, Twelfth Night
Void mode

What is love?Para sakin, love is made of butterflies everytime he smiles, they're raindrops on the window each time you don't hear from him, the stars that shines down on you when you need inspiration. It is a feeling that the mind has no definition but the heart has plenty. I never knew love until i met you.... cue APO Hiking Society!

You gave me a reason for my beingAnd I love what I’m feelingYou gave new meaning to my lifeYes, I’ve gone beyond existingAnd it all began when I met you

Dear Ate Charo/Tita Mel/Wanda Ilusyonada/To whom it may concern:
(parang excuse letter lang)

Nagsimula to more than 3 months ago na. I met this guy sa isang thread. Itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang Derek. At first I'm a bit hesitant about this guy. Parang andami nya kaaway. Hanoh bah yan! Kakatakot. Saka parang antanda na nya, mukhang may 3 anak na. nyahaha. Pero actually mas bata sya sakin ng 3 years, oh wag na magcompute, legal age yan!

One time, I got to play with him on with word association game (ung tipong input the next thing associated with the previous; example heart >>> love >>> letter >>> application; gets?) Mejo matagal din kami naglaro. Then afterwards, nagpost sya ng message sakin. Thanks for playing daw! Eh ako naman mejo kinilig. ang swett naman ni iho. hanoh bah! After noon eh madalas ko na sya nakakasabay maglaro dun. Fast forward, he asked for my number I gave him my home phone. I waited all night, wa call?! kairita! Weeks past I got his friendster account, sya nagpost non, di ko hinack or what! hindi ako stalker noh! Eh I tried kung yun din ang YM nya, ok same account! GO! Dumalas ang chat namin ni guy. Pati nung Christmas, tlgang ndi ako tumayo sa chair khit tawag sila ng tawag sakin for Noche Buena! Hanoh bah may cutie dito! Before the end of the year, we exchanged numbers na. Nagulat nga ko kasi akala ko text lang, aba mayaman, tlgang call kung call! At take note ang lalim ng boses, tenor ba? ahaha. nakakakilig tlga.

By January, he said he wanted to meet me pero after daw ng vacation nya. He's going to Thailand! Aba shala! He's visiting his lolo there daw. Eh kasi tong guy na to eh tlgang complicated ang family. He said he's part Chinese, Japanese, Nepalese tapos ung lolo lng nya ang half Filipino. So malamang na below 20% ang dugong Pilipino nya, pero he was raised in Laguna until nga nagmigrate sya sa Malate na as we all know eh pugad ng badingerz so dami ko kaagaw dun. nyahaha. Anyway, he was supposed to stay there up to the 15th pero mga 10th pa lang nktanggap ako ng tawag from him, he went back early kasi daw manganganak si bestfriend nya. Napakaconcerned naman nito for others.

Fast forward uli. Mga ilang days after nun, nakachat ko uli sya sa YM, pero this time kasama namin ung isang friend from the threads, si Reese. Nung una eh kanya kanyang PM-an. Then i suggested na magconference nga kami. Ayun threesome, ehehe i mean three-way. Pero they were talking like, yung secret ha? ganun ganun... What? eh ako nman chismoso. Eh ayaw sabihin... nako nakakainis kasi ndi na naman ako magkakandatulog nyan. So ayun landian kami that night. He even asked if ever pwede kami magdate pero pasimple syempre. Ako naman si payag eh di go. pero I didn't insist in anything, kung magyaya lang siya eh di sasama ako.

Days passed wala parin ang date. Constant ka-YM ko na si Reese. Inaabot kami hanggang alas tres magchat. Eh kelangan by 5am gising nako for my work. grabe talaga halos 2hours tulog ko, ok lang kasi bumabawi naman ako ng weekends at inaadik ko na lang ang extra joss. nyahaha. My crush has totally abandoned me. I feel really crushed.

A week before the end of January, nag assemble mga triviamates ko (yan ang tawag namin sa forums, Brgy Trivia) ng isang GEB, a third para sa mga long time patrons nito. Ang plan is Videoke night! Woooohh eh ako naman eh mahilig jan, sinong bang hindi, kahit ba struggle lang diba?! ahahah. So we contacted each other para maset up ung meet up. By that time talagang erase erase erase na sakin si crush. I don't want to be tied with him. Eh tong isang organizer ba naman mega contact pa tlga kay crush at sabihin bang meron daw gustong mameet sya really badly. azzin! para akong desperado sa atensyon! ano ako may ADD? (attention deficiency disorder yan shunga!)

So come February 2, Saturday we were having fun singing sa KTV. After 45 minutes or so dumating na si crush. Ang buong akala ko eh 5'1 lang sya pero ndi nman pala. Buti na lang! He's 22 Male from Malate, stands 5'9 and has a developed beer tummy. He looks cute though. At para syang kiti kiting di malaman ang gagawin. He sat one person away from me. Pero after a while tumabi na sya sakin. Ang legs di mapakali, talagang may i cross over yours. Hinayaan ko naman. at nakaakbay sya sakin. eh gusto ko sana hug, nahiya naman ako sa mga tao sa room. Hayz! Ndi daw sya magtatagal. bulong sakin ng mga chismosa eh may party daw na ginawa nung kasama sa bahay nila. (uhuh, kasama lang tlga? prang kung makabantay eh nanay) Before leaving halos makaubos pa sya ng 1 pack cigarettes, chain smoker ito! At nung magbuhbye na sya, mega smack sa lips ko! yumm, mga 5 seconds or more. gusto ko sana may tongue pero nahiya nman ako. hayz. ahaha. landi! He left his cap, at naiwan sakin ung remembrance!

Till now I still remember that kiss. He keeps inviting me for a quickie. May ganun tlga? Pokpok! I kept agreeing pero hanggang ngayon wa pa rin. Alam ko naman di sya mpapasakin pero andito parin ako, naghihintay, umaasa. Theme song ko ngaun eh "Kulang na Kulang" by Joy and Bevs... "kulang na kulang ba? hindi pa ba sapat, inubos kong lahat na panahon ko sayo, anong gagawin, di mo pinapansin etong damdamin aking paglalambing...." Pasensya na at naadik ako sa jolog songs right now nyahaha. Hindi ko na alam kung bakit ganito ako. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang ganito, ung meron kang taong laging iniisip, nag-aalala ka kung napano na sya

Hanggang dito na lang po!

Lubos na gumagalang,
Jeremy