The Sign

Photo by Chris T. More via Flickr.

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. Seriously, I've been telling myself that for some time now. And I really don't know if it's helping.

I've been with the company close to two years now. The longest stay I've had with any company. Reasons for previous ones would have to be discussed on a separate blog I fear. But truly, the reason I was able to last this long is because of the wonderful officemates I still have with me. I can still remember that first day. I sat at the back to be as far away from any human interaction. Unfortunately, I have to stick with this bunch. And it's really funny how we've all grown from cautious strangers to a collective group of talented peons, slaving away every day and every month.

Two of my closest have already left the company. Denise left before June last year. Faye left mid January just before her birthday. I tried a bit to persuade her to stay. But how can you make someone stay if you yourself has lost all reason to. I miss them both. I miss hanging around with them, singing a tune--on second voice hahah, finishing each others sentences, making up stories, and just laughing around nonsense stuff.

On a totally unrelated news, His Holiness has already filed his resignation by the end of February. Less than a month's notice, I know right. Others jest maybe it's a holy sign. And it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign, says Ace of Base. But is it really the sign I'm asking?

Point 2 of totally unrelated news: the water dispenser by our pantry broke the other week. Close to two years of use. They've already retired it and replaced it with a newer, more efficient one, I guess. And I ask where'd they put the old one? I'm guessing it's at Shell, Maersk or Chevron. Choz!

I've already sent an intent to leave by my second year. I didn't know you could do that. Well, I wrote on my email that I'll be evaluating my 2 month stay before filing a formal resignation letter. I might still stay for the duration of the year. Who knows?

Now, a small bit why I've considered this. Recently, I've been reassigned to a new process which I've found less than what I'd expect of a general accounting nature. For two months I'm slowly understanding why I'm doing this with the back of my mind telling me I don't have to put up with all this crap. To keep matters worse, my new-ish team lead is making work hell my repeatedly rejecting all my work. Having to work hours overtime is hard enough. But having to rework is harder still. For this month, I'm trying to channel my anger from receiving another rejection. Let's just say growth is when you know how to accept rejection and learn from it. I'm keeping an open mind. Everything is for the best. After this, I can do anything.

For now, I have to live by my new mantra: I love my job, I love my job, I love my job. Maybe if I keep saying it I'll believe it.

___________________
FYI. The ankh is the Egyptian symbol as the key of life ironically depicted in the music video of Ace of Base's The Sign, which in turn is interpreted as chronicling a woman's journey from a dysfunctional relationship to a convent. Maybe I should then enter the seminary, what would you say?

S.A.D

Single by D. Reichardt via Flickr.

Kamusta naman. It's that season again yah know; ang buwan ng second hand emotion. I know right. Ano pa nga bang uso ngayon? Syempre Valentines. At dahil jan tataas na naman ang demand at babagsak ang supply ng roses.

At babaha sa ere ang dalawang flavors: sweet at bitter. Sa mga meron, optimistic o umaasa sa lablayp syempre mananaig ang tamis. Tamis na nakakahawa; yung tipong mapapasigaw ka ng "yeehee" sa officemate mo na pinadalhan ng isang bouquet ng gumamela; tamis na nakakasuya na sa taun taong pinadadalhan ka ng stalker mo ng bagong iPhone model; o tamis na nakakasukang maencounter mo yung kapitbahay mo na magjowang hanggang jeep eh makapagPDA ng lipchukang walang bukas. Bitter sa mga wala, iniwan o umaasa sa lablayp. Yung tipong nagtweet at nagblog ka pa na single ka sa katorse. Single Awareness Day din yun teh, baka di ka lang nainform dun sa memo.

Happy Single Awareness Day!

So may nag-add sakin sa BBM nung isang araw. Kebs lang naman sakin yung mga nag-aadd na yan kaya ok lang go. Para na rin may rason akong magamit yung Blackberry minsan. Unang message pa lang "kamusta na?" Magkilala ba tayo? Tapos wala pang isang minuto kang di makareply may PING!!! ka nang matatanggap. Demanding? Chineck ko ang piksur. Check na chakks. Ok fine, namilit pa mahingi yung number ko. Ok, pagbigyan.

So ayun nagcall na ang chakks. Maere, HR manager daw yata or something. Gusto ko itanong, "talaga akala ko pangpleasing personality lang dun, or ikaw yung exception to the rule" pero pinigil ko na lang. So ayun nga Psychology major daw sya or something. Well that explains pano sya nakapasok na HR. Tapos sina-psychologize nya ako. As if mag-oopen up ako sa isang stranger.

Tinanong ako kung kelan daw ang last ko.

Matagal na. 

Bakit daw.

Ewan. 

Dapat alam mo.

Aba malay. Basta may mga bagay na di ko maekpleyn bakit nga ba ako single. Baka dahil ginusto ko ito. Bakit nga ba ako single? Dahil choosy ako hahah. Siguro natakot na rin akong magkajowa kasi baka pulaan ako ng mga friends tapos ijudge nila ako "akala ko ba choosy ka eh bakit yan ang jowa mo." Yung ganyang eksena hahah. Mabuti na rin etong single sa ngayon. Saka baka may di pa pinagmumove-on-an na tao. Gago ka ba eh playboy yun sabi ng isang friend. Gago tlga ang pag-ibig.

Going back, more more kwento kwento pa si Chakks. Napunta sa pagkuha nya ng Psycho-something license without taking the board daw.  Tapos plug in nya na if ever daw first time daw nya makadate ng CPA. Sabi ko tuloy na expired na license ko. Aba nagpipresenta samahan ko daw sya sa PRC. Eh sabi ko meron naman sa mall. Better daw, sa Megamall na daw kami magkita sa Byernes. Agad agad? Eh sabi ko may lakad na ako sa Friday. Ayyy after na lang daw ng license ako lumakad. Aba ha, kelan ko pa sya naging manager?! Magagawa naman daw lahat basta you know your priorities. I know and you are the least of it, naisip ko. Tapos demand ng demand na magkita kami kinabukasan. Lunchtime daw sa McDo Bwenjah malapit sa office nila. Wow ha ang gwapo mo kasi para pag aksayahan ko ng oras. Eh yung mga more bettable kong nakakachat eh di ko tinatangkang imeet.

Tapos nagdetour pabalik bakit daw single ako.

Ewan ko nga.

Sya daw sabi nya "di naman ako [sic] pangit payat nga lang."

Eh di kumain ka.

Eh biglang bwelta na nakaka-three rice daw sya pero di lang tlga sya tabain. Bakit daw sya makikinig sa iba eh mas kilala nya ang katawan nya.

Eh di makipagdate ka jan sa katawan mo, naisip ko lang.

Naisip ko kaya ako single kasi wala akong time para sa iba. Puro sa akin lang. Actually may time naman akong kayang ishare sa iba, yun lang di ko pa maprioritize ano nga ba ang gusto ko, ano nga ba ang makapagpapasaya sa akin. At siguro mabuti na rin kesa naman sa mga nagfifeeling na chakks. Bakit ba ako makikinig sa iba eh mas kilala ko ang puso at isip ko.